Well, it's official now. Our government thinks we're children.

Edit: so THIS was why I hadn't heard a peep of it in the local media. This project wasn't funded by the government, not directly. Instead it was just a bunch of kids like me in media school messing around with the feminists.

Still doesn't change how ridiculous it is that we have to be shown panda porn, though.

Seems like even my alternate lines have been infiltrated by the fembots.

Singapore government uses "fairytales" to warn women of declining fertility.

I wonder why I haven't heard a peep of it in the local media, though.

With her blond bob, convertible car, cigarette in hand and cropped top emblazoned with the letters YOLO ("You Only Live Once"), this is an Alice in Wonderland the world has not seen before. Like Lewis Carroll's original, this cartoon Alice is curious about the world – "she gives up her cash to fly around rash" – but the moral here is that this twentysomething Singaporean is so busy being "wild and reckless" that she stands to lose her chance of starting a family.

Welcome to adult education in marriage and fertility, Singapore-style.

Congratulations. I'm not sure if I should be sadder at the fact that our government has to tell us to breed, or that the population needs the government to tell them to do so. It's one huge clusterfuck.

"Alice" is one of 15 fairytales revamped for a new government-backed scheme to encourage Singaporeans to get married and start having babies earlier. Faced with a rapidly ageing society, skyrocketing housing prices, low birth rates and a population that works the longest hours in the world, this country of 5.3 million people has made various attempts over the years to encourage its citizens to marry and procreate, from government-funded speed-dating schemes to educational flyers on how to flirt. Now, however, it is changing its tactics in search of a happy ending.

Aimed at 21- to 30-year-olds, the "Singaporean Fairytale" was created by four final-year university students who wanted to "find an interesting way to connect with young adults … on what it takes to start, live and be a family in Singapore", says the project manager, Chan Luo Er, 23.

"Fairytales are very accessible, as almost everyone grew up with a fairytale or two – our little poem on a woman's declining fertility as she ages ties in quite nicely with the Golden Goose."

 Let's have a look at these fairytales and their illustrations:

You know, in a way I have to give the Singaporean government credit for giving the PC crowd the finger, just like when they went with their soft-eugenics program back when they started backpedalling on the stop at two programme. Sort of like respecting an opponent's strengths, yes?

But...really...

However did we sink this low?

And what do our local feminists have to say about this silliness?

"It entrenches all the stereotypes and it's unfortunate that it's supported by the government," says Corinna Lim of Singapore's Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) of such advice.

"It's an old-fashioned way of trying to solve this problem. It's going backwards when going forwards would be what Scandinavian countries are doing – making it easier for women to have babies and allowing men to take part [through paternity schemes], instead of pressuring women by saying they're not married yet."

Scandidavian countries this, Scandidvian countries that. If someone mentions Norway again without mentioning the oil, or Sweden without admitting it's fast becoming a dystopia thanks to rampant misandry and multikulti, I think I'm going to puke.

Those wonderful Scandidavian countries...where they abuse their children and women who actually want to be mothers are criminalised.

Our government continues to outdo itself:

The government recently passed a £1bn parenthood and fertility package which will fund assisted reproduction and finally give fathers a week of paternity leave. It has also released a series of educational cartoons for those looking for love, with tips such as: "Look out for a favourite topic your date has, or anything that your date has mentioned – this gives the feeling that you are interested in your date," and: "Scout your surroundings for possible chat topics, or comment on an interesting accessory your date is wearing" to avoid awkward conversation.

Or...a certain snide little bastard could introduce his group of friends to the Manosphere and Game, Roosh and Roissy. And if they're moralfags like the snide little bastard, then it's Ian Ironwood and Vox Day.

Oh well. This whole thing sort of reminds me of how Chinese zoos show pandas porn in an attempt to get them to breed. It's quite sad, but hilarious at the same time because I know it will never work. Not until the cults of education and meritocracy are destroyed and the worker drone merit badge stomped underfoot.