Saturday, 30 March 2013
An outlet for pain.
Koanic stresses that Koans need a way of letting go of pain and negative feelings. Telling yourself things like "view every setback as a positive experience" may work in the short run, he points out in one of his videos, but without an outlet for the pain experienced by one's setbacks, dissonance eventually sets in between your hardware and software. As strong as you are, all this bottled-up crap will in all likelihood cause you to stop using a bad Koan altogether. Lying to yourself generally isn't a smart thing to do.
I'd like to suggest that this can be extended to life in general.
Now, the standard solution to this pushed by our so-called society is to have long talks, break down crying, lie back on the psychiatrist's sterotypical recliner, the whole shebang. Of course, this means you can only talk about "approved" matters, and of course more often than not you're going to receive some politically-corrected heap of trash, especially if you have crazy ideas in your head like a bunch of us do.
Tough sons of bitches can deal with pain, too. Tough sons of bitches have to deal with pain. But since they don't do it in the approved fashion of getting in touch with one's "feelings" or "feminine side" (ugh), it's not "proper", and neither is it recognised.
The pain of rejection, the pain of feeling impotent, the pain of defeat - not feeling pain, or pretending not to, is not the answer. It's what you do with it.
I yet have to test out or create quick visualisations for my squire Koan set, but as I've mentioned before, the temperance part of the third Koan in the set is aimed at dissipating and redirecting rage and sadness created by my spritual drive. I'm not fully sure it'll work, since I do wonder if my conscience and rage will simply override the attempt to dissipate, and hopefully redirection will work better. Of course it's logical to admit that I can't fight every battle alone or win all the time, but the problem is that emotions aren't logical, the spiritual drive doesn't have to be rational, and it can go as far as to demand the crushing of the offending situation under one's bootheel.
Now that I look back at things, before I discovered the manosphere, when I was more Gamma - maybe it goes some way to explaining why I behaved the way I did when faced with competition. Drive versus the Gamma tendency to avoid open, direct conflict and honourable combat resulting in a win and loss - maybe that's why I used to rage so much at the feelings of impotence and humiliation.
Anyways, back to the topic. Your mileage may vary of course, considering that everyone's hardware and software are going to be different.
Exercise may help for some; I definitely know some people for whom it works to relieve stress and sadness by simply exhausting the body and by extension, the mind. Been proven that exercise releases endorphins and gives you that all-natural high without having to smoke, sniff or snort anything, and it's a lot harder to overdose on exercise. Of course, in my case it doesn't work - I've written before that while the body is exhausted, the spirit is still obsessing and tells it to stand up and fight. Mind over matter, like the old Ninja Turtles cartoons used to claim.
Distracting oneself, unless it's from something that's a dopamine fix like a video game, usually doesn't work because the drive keeps on turning one's thoughts back to the problem. And even if i go ahead and give into playing video games, it still doesn't prevent the obsession from returning with a vengeance later.
Meditation may help, but I have virtually no experience with this, so I'll withold my words on the subject. Folk like Koanic can probably tell you more.
The tried-and-tested manly way to express pain, as some would put it, would be to fix things. No, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want a hug or a piece of candy, I want to go out and start fixing the damned problem so it doesn't bother me again.
I think the ideal way to relieve pain for people like me is to work actively towards solving the offending problem, even if it's only in some small part. If that's not possible, then at least create the illusion of solving the damn thing, so long as you don't lie to yourself about it.
It may not solve the overall issue, but it satisfies both melon drive and thal honesty that something has been done, and allows the temperance Koan to kick in. Temperance, after all, means moderation and not complete denial or hedonism. Get a cold shoulder from one of the lab ladies like I did with my first few bumbling attempts at Game? Go back, reflect, read Vox and Roosh, then try and figure out what went wrong. Disgusted by something I read on my news feed? Either reflect on it and then make a blog post, or wade into the comments and start hacking away.
Heh, heh, I think I've managed to bring out my aggression at a range. Now to see if I can set about doing that in the real world up close and personal.
Anyways, to summarise: if you're anything like me, work towards a solution honestly, enough to ensure both drive and honesty are satiated to enough of a degree that one can focus on something else and begin to think rationally once more, then admit to self that Rome wasn't built in a day. Honesty is required here, of course, to admit you've done everything you could in this time, and that you're making or still intend to make progress towards the ultimate idealogical goal.