Wednesday, 20 March 2013
A quick core Koan set:
First line is to get thing started, other two are continuations. I know Koanic's core set consists of four Koans, but I'll eventually expand them if need be while keeping things simple for now.
How I'm trying this is with a Koan proper, and also a quick visualisation I can use if and when I ever get too incoherent/panicky/whatever to run the actual words through my mind. Koanic suggested that it's more maybe not "saying the whole line" but just feeling what it's about", and the quick visualisation is to those ends.
*Suit up/ease up (steady)
An opening koan crafted in the vein of Koanic's own "fuck it/float it (bow)", intended to prepare for action regardless of consequences, loosen up (which helps with the rigidity of the first) and since I'm not a Christian, Koanic's "bow" aimed at genuflecting towards God is replaced with "steady", aimed at creating that sort of calm and readiness which I think he's getting at with his connection to God.
At first I was wondering if "suit up" would be putting me too much on the defensive and place an undue emphasis on non-aggression, but suiting up might be doing so in preparation for a defense or attack. Testing will show, I guess.
Quick visualisation: visualise breastplate about chest, focusing attention on collarbone. Visualise rolling shoulders, while still in armour. Move attention to feet and focus attention on balance, relax.
*Tongues clear the mind
Based off Koanic's "Tongues connect God the Father", this Koan is supposed to help one visualise tapping into something more than what you are - in his case, God, and requiring a little modification on my part. Headaching, too, since I'm not exactly sure what sort of comparable higher power I believe in. Righteousness? Natural law? A moral absolutist without a higher power from where one's morals come from - an odd idea, innit?
On the easier side, I don't doubt Koanic's representation of tongues and importance of concentrating on breathing as a meditational technique, even in a non-religious sense - I've experienced it myself during long distance runs when I'm in the zone, when the mind powers down and one's body, breathing and legs are on automatic. I've caught myself babbling nonsense then, stuff straight from the back of my mind. So no, even though I'm agnostic, I've personal experience with the whole "speaking in tongues" neural hijack thing; the issue now is being able to summon it up at will.
Quick visualisation: visualise visor/goggles over eyes, straps/frame reaching into back of mind. Start babbling in head - easier said than done. I'm a bit worried that I can't be sure I'm really doing it, or if there's some structure to the babbling that I'm...ah, best to try it out over some time and see if it works in reducing anxiety.
*Inject breath into the now
Based on "voidbounded three seconds breath", meant to keep one into the now and concentrate on one's breathing as a meditative response. "Inject" is a more forceful term, though, requiring action on my part, and given my R-selected upbringing's tendency to slump back into defensive passiveness, I think it's more of a help. Also, I keep on associating "inject" with a delta t spike, hopefully further emphasising the narrowness of the now.
Quick visualisation: visualise a delta t spike, followed by a mental image of a pump steadily working away in time with my breathing.
This needs some testing, and I've got a couple of presentations for my design project coming up (anxiety), as well as daily testing in the gym during workouts (sensation of readiness and "fuck it"). Suit up/ease up (steady) seems to be working just before beginning each set; I'm not sure if me feeling less tired after the set it's just a placebo effect, but isn't the whole of Koanic Soul technically one huge placebo effect when looked at from a secular point of view?