Getting into this box is what's best for both of us. During your time in the box, you will learn so much, and yet experience so little. It's a wild ride, my friend, one well worth the time spent...and let's face it, you don't have much to do these days anyway.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Dear average modern woman:

 Just when I think I've witnessed the depths of your depravity, you manage to astound me.

Apparently in Russia there are thirteen abortions for every ten births. That is just insane. So, if you are a Russian baby, you have a 43% chance of seeing the light of day before all those other nasty other bugs that cause infant deaths kick in.

I wonder if I can find some historical records of infant mortality in Russia from the 19th century and make a few comparisons.

Congratulations. It seems that when you are given the ability to have the sole decision making power over your lives and the lives of those around you, you generally don’t just act as individuals, but also as a collective to bring about the death of a civilization. By sheer demographics, if nothing else.

Tell me, which is the greater crime? Murdering en masse the most helpless and voiceless group of people for your convenience, or allowing them to live, but stunting and crippling their minds and bodies so you can get a little more moolah a month from Pimp Daddy G?

I think this should put to rest the so-called undisputed assumption of boundless, unconditional maternal love.

We give you the ultimate power of life and death itself, and you have proven yourselves to be anything but responsible, wise or discretionary in exercising it; an action that should be the end result of deep consideration and of last resort turned into a joke. A deranged maniac with a funny mustache kills 12 million, we call him a monster. Another deranged maniac with an even funnier mustache freezes millions more to death in Siberia, we call him a demon.

So, what do we call 50 million in one country alone?

And the anger eventually fades, leaving sadness in its place. Oh well, the genie can't be put back in the bottle, so we might as well watch the bottle shatter into a thousand tiny slivers.

But leaving the issue of crushing skulls, dismembering and vaccumming, and burning alive with saline aside, let's discuss all those other hilarious shenanigans you have involved yourself in. Oh, I didn't want to believe it at first. Remember the cult of meritocracy that pervades Singapore? But the more I watch your antics, from frivorces to false rape accusations to runaway brides to the "war on women" and the Lena Dunham election campaign commercial to voting based on which candidate gives the most tingles to bridezillas to corruption by Americanisation to - well, I think you get the idea.

As unfortunate as it may be, faced with all this evidence, I have no choice but to come to the following conclusion: that ye olde average modern woman possesses as much moral agency, compassion, logic, understanding of cause and effect, responsibility, self-respect, and indeed, individuality and independence as ye olde average modern rock. Be it innate or by circumstance, or by some combination of both, I don't care (although some others might). What I do care about is what is, and 99% of you don't fit the bill.

And so, for the ladies who are "not like that", I'm afraid to say this crumbling world is the one which your less scrupulous sisters wanted - nay, demanded, and the equally unscrupulous gentlemen in service of Pimp Daddy G and The Cathedral were more than happy to give in exchange for a price. I'm afraid you'll have to suffer the ire of men all over the world who've seen through the ruse of both these groups and will truly treat you like men and as true equals. It's what they were told to do as boys.

Is it right you have to bear the collective cross of your sisters? No, but that's the way things are; we seem to be perfectly fine with exacting capital punishment upon children for the sins of their parents, after all. Sort of reminds me of the fun fact that if you committed treason against any of the imperial family in ancient China, your whole extended family would be executed three generations up and down, but you would be allowed to live on in exile.

Most commited suicide.

Everything's fine and dandy today. Tomorrow, there's less power, and more price. Soon enough, there's no more power but you're paying everyday, and this is what we're seeing the beginnings of now.

Keep your chin up, though; we'll need all the good men and women we can gather. This world is rapidly approaching its much-needed reset. Men, women, society, government, technology, everything. At times like this, I am so tempted to give up on trying to buy more time in waking people up, and instead doing all I can to bang on the big red reset button.

I am Joe's disaffected sense of justice and his largely ineffectual rage.

It's enough to make me want to get into my box and padlock the covers shut for a good long while.

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